It’s come to this: I’m cleaning out deep fat fryers with a dish cloth and window cleaner spray. My supervisor is a small weasel of a man and as we talk we hold onto available surfaces for support as the floors are slippery with oil. I know George Orwell had to deal with things like […]

“Do I look like a cunt?” Head chefs can be bad tempered bastards with a prima donna streak a mile wide. Bernie was no exception. “Err No.” I reply. “Well then don’t insult me with piss-poor presentation. If Salmon was meant to have that much fuckin’ dill on it we’d call it dill with fuckin’ […]

“Never apologise, never explain”. Or so they say…but I’m sorry, I feel that without a small introduction, what follows may read like the rantings of a man slowly going mad on the other side of the world. Actually maybe that’s a better title for this whole saga. Let me at least set the scene… I […]