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Category: Down And Under

Down & Under Pt3 – The Greek crisis

Four of us. Car share. Middle of nowhere. Until the large modern conference centre rises up out of the bush landscape we think we’ve missed a turn. It’s plush, air conditioned and has a swimming pool odour about it. We change into our uniforms for the day. Collarless shirts should make us look like the […]

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Down & under Pt2 – Get busy frying.

It’s come to this: I’m cleaning out deep fat fryers with a dish cloth and window cleaner spray. My supervisor is a small weasel of a man and as we talk we hold onto available surfaces for support as the floors are slippery with oil. I know George Orwell had to deal with things like […]

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Down & under Pt1 – Chefs just wanna have fun.

“Do I look like a cunt?” Head chefs can be bad tempered bastards with a prima donna streak a mile wide. Bernie was no exception. “Err No.” I reply. “Well then don’t insult me with piss-poor presentation. If Salmon was meant to have that much fuckin’ dill on it we’d call it dill with fuckin’ […]

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Down & under – Explanations and excuses

“Never apologise, never explain”. Or so they say…but I’m sorry, I feel that without a small introduction, what follows may read like the rantings of a man slowly going mad on the other side of the world. Actually maybe that’s a better title for this whole saga. Let me at least set the scene… I […]

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